


Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight

by SetYourGoalsx7



Series: I Promise We'll Be Okay [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, slight blangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 16:32:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4571661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SetYourGoalsx7/pseuds/SetYourGoalsx7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which Kurt and Blaine never broke up a second time, but they still had the fight in the restaurant and Blaine still fails out of NYADA and has insecurities about Kurt’s love for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I tend to get ideas in my head and then when it comes to actually writing a fic about it, it goes all over the place and I have no idea what's going on. Hopefully you can still enjoy this even if I'll never make it was a writer in any lifetime.

Blaine is pacing in the hallway of NYADA outside the dean’s office where he was summoned. This wasn’t the first time this semester he’s been in this same position. He knows he’s not doing his best in school as of right now, but he’s trying to pick himself back up. He knows why he’s failing almost all of his classes and he hates that he let his personal problems get in the way of his schoolwork.

Blaine was really hoping the second time around trying to live with Kurt would actually work. There was no Rachel, no Santana, no Sam… just _them_. He thought it would be better this time. He thought since it was just the two of them, it would be easier to give each other the space they needed. Well, the space _Kurt_ needed. Blaine wouldn’t mind spending all day everyday with his fiance, but that’s just not logical, he knows that.

The first week went smoothly, but then it started to go downhill after that. Small things started to get on each others nerves and it was leading to big unnecessary fights. Blaine also thought that Kurt would want _something_ to do with the planning of _their_ wedding, but it seems everything has been placed on Blaine. All of this has been affecting Blaine in the worst way and all of his insecurities are starting to rise to the surface once again. He barely slept anymore and his eating habits started to change again for the worse. But this time, he’s not gonna cry on Kurt’s shoulder about it all. Kurt had said it loud and clear during one of their worst arguments; Blaine is _exhausting_. So, he started to keep everything to himself from then on out.

Once Blaine gained enough courage, he hesitantly knocked on the large wooden door to the dean’s office. He heard a loud “Come in!”, took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

Madame Tibideaux was seated in her big chair behind a large mahogany desk. Blaine took the seat in front of the desk and wrung his hands together nervously.

“Mr. Anderson, thank you for joining me.” She started in a loud voice.

“Of course.” Blaine replied, ever so politely.

“We’ve talked about your academic standing a few months ago and I gave you a second chance to redeem yourself, but it seems as if nothing has changed. You knew you were put on academic probation and you were to bring your GPA back up to at least a 2.5 by the end of this semester. And as you know, the fall semester has ended and you’re currently standing at a 2.1. You’re not taking your work seriously and I have no choice but to subject you to a dismissal from our university. I’m sorry, Mr. Anderson, maybe you should consider a different career path. Best of luck to you.” She told Blaine and stuck her hand out for a “farewell” handshake which Blaine obediently returned.

“I understand. Thank you for the opportunity.” That’s all Blaine could get out of his mouth. Anything else and he would break down. He stiffly returned the handshake and bolted from the room and then the building.

Failed. _Failed_.

That’s what Blaine has done. He’s failed out of college. He’s done. It’s over. He can’t go back to NYADA ever again. Well maybe, but it’s not like Madame Tibideaux would ever accept him back.

He really just wants to scream and cry and maybe throw some things until they crash to the floor. So he runs to the subway, catches the train right before it leaves the station, gets off at his stop, and runs as fast as he can back to the loft. He feels like he’s on some sort of autopilot. He even skips the elevator in favor of running up the five flights of stairs.

He runs into his and Kurt’s bedroom and changes into shorts and an old t-shirt, not caring about the snow falling outside. He laces up his workout shoes and runs right back out of the apartment. Down the stairs. Out the door. Down the street. He reaches the gym and wow, it’s been a long time since Blaine has been here. He knows where to go though. He makes his way to the back of the gym, wraps his hands, and starts beating the life out of the punching bag. _This_. Every little thing that he’s been bottling up the past few months comes rushing out of him, hit after hit. He can’t stop. He feels sweat dripping down his face and he thinks there might even be some tears joining in. He knows he didn’t wrap his hands well enough, and can feel the skin start to break as he punches but it feels too good to stop.

Every stupid argument with Kurt that he’s just let go. _Punch_. Every stupid thing he wished he said during arguments with Kurt but knew it was no use. _Punch_. Every stupid fight with his parents since he’s moved to New York. _Punch_. Every stupid minute of sleep he’s lost since his life started spiraling downhill. _Punch_. Every stupid calorie he’s consumed when he knew he could’ve done without it. _Punch_. Every stupid hour of studying at NYADA when he knew he was most likely going to fail out anyway. _Punch_.

Twenty minutes later of non-stop punches, Blaine has sufficiently worn himself out. He knows now that he has tears streaming down his face, mixing with the sweat from his hairline and neck. He unwraps his hands and sees the broken skin and bloody knuckles. He feels alive for the first time in months. He squeezes his hands and the pain that comes from it is euphoric.

He makes his way to the locker room and cleans off his hands. He wraps them in gauze from the med kit hanging on the wall and just breaths for a second.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and notices three missed calls all from Kurt and a text message asking where he is. Instead of answering, he decides to just call him back on his way back to the loft.

“Finally you call back, where are you? You were supposed to meet me outside my last class so we can get our grades for our Literacy in Art class.” Kurt said as a greeting.

“Uh yeah, sorry. I got out of my last class early, I thought I had time to go to the gym quickly, just lost track. I’m on my way to you now.” Blaine replied as he walked out of the gym. The snow was falling quicker now and accumulating along the sidewalk.

“No, it’s not worth you coming all the way back here to just go back to Brooklyn again, especially in this weather. I’ll just get my grade and come back home.” Kurt sighed.

“Okay.” Blaine replied. He hadn’t hung up yet and he can tell Kurt hasn’t either. There’s a silence between them and he can’t tell if it’s awkward or not, but before he can think too long about it, Kurt speaks.

“Are you okay? You sound kind of sad.” Kurt stated, obviously concerned. And Blaine was not expecting him to ask that.

Blaine wanted to reply, _I’m always sad_ , but refrained. “Yeah, I’m good. I’ll see you when you get home.”

“Okay.”

Blaine hung up and started to walk a little faster back to the loft. When Blaine got home, he took a quick shower, rewrapped his knuckles, and laid on the couch to watch mindless TV as he waited for Kurt. Kurt stepped through the door twenty minutes into some weird lifetime movie he was barely focusing on.

“Hey.” Kurt said as he put his bag down and took off his jacket and scarf and placed them on the back of the chair.

“Hey.” Blaine replied without taking his eyes off the TV. “How were your grades?”

“Got mostly A’s and B’s. I’m happy about that, I put a lot of work into this semester.” Kurt stated as he walked over to Blaine and sat on the couch by Blaine’s hip and absently started to card his fingers through Blaine’s loose curls. “What’s wrong?”

Blaine contemplated just blurting out everything to Kurt, but refrained from doing so. “Nothing’s wrong. Just tired from the gym.” He said as he plastered on a fake smile.

Kurt used his free hand to lift up one of Blaine’s gauze-covered hands. “What happened to you?”

“Went a little too hard on the punching bag, nothing serious.”

“Nothing serious? Blaine! You’re bleeding right through the gauze!” Kurt yelled as he lifted both of Blaine’s hands into his own to examine the damage.

“It’s really okay, Kurt. This isn’t the first time I accidently didn’t wrap my hands enough.” Blaine tried to reassure.

“What’s wrong?”

“I already told you, nothing is wrong.” Blaine said aggravated.

“Why are you lying to me?”

“Why do you suddenly care?!” Blaine blurted before he can stop himself, pushing himself up off the couch.

“What?” Kurt asked defensively. “What do you mean ‘why do I suddenly care’? When have I not cared about you?” Kurt stood up as well, moving in front of Blaine to block him. Kurt knows Blaine's strategies during fights, he knows Blaine will try to walk away.

“Nevermind, forget it.” Blaine mumbled as he started to walk into their bedroom just as Kurt predicted, but Kurt grabbed his wrist before he could make it far.

“No, talk to me. What’s going on?” Blaine could see that Kurt was genuinely concerned, but the words will still forever haunt him; “It’s _exhausting_.”

“Nothing, just forget I even said anything.” Blaine sighed.

“Absolutely not. Seriously, what’s wrong?” Kurt went from holding Blaine’s wrist to rubbing up and down his arms. He could see Blaine’s jaw set and knows he’s thinking of what he wants to say. “Tell me the truth, please.”

“I wouldn’t want to tire you with my problems.” Blaine spat out. “Since I’m so exhausting.” Blaine aggressively moved himself out of Kurt’s hold trying to walk away, yet again. He’s been in a mood since this afternoon, since he’s been dismissed from NYADA. He knows Kurt’s just trying to help him but he can’t control himself right now and for once he really needs his space.

“Blaine, I never said you were exhausting. I just meant the whole situation. All of our little pointless fights. You’re telling me you weren't tired of just constantly being at each others throats twentyfour seven?” Kurt saw Blaine’s anger resolving so he took a chance and pulled him into a hug. Blaine just left his arms limp at his side for a minute but when Blaine tentatively wrapped his arms around Kurt’s waist, he knew he made the right move. “I never meant to make it so you felt as if you couldn’t come to me with your problems. We’re in a relationship. We’re getting married! I want to hear your problems and I want to be here to help you get through them.” Kurt told him seriously. He can feel Blaine trying to release his hold on Kurt once again but Kurt tightens his arms around Blaine’s neck. He doesn’t want to let Blaine go until they’ve solved this. “Please don’t walk away from me, I really just want to talk to you.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to you.” Blaine said through a sigh.

Kurt released his hold on Blaine but pulled him along until they were seated next to each other on the couch. Kurt immediately took Blaine’s hand and threaded their fingers together mindful of the gauze wrapped around his knuckles. “Thank you.”

“I can’t go back to NYADA next semester.” Blaine started.

“That’s okay! You can take a break, Blaine. You don’t have to-” Kurt started to say before being cut off by Blaine’s hand make a ‘no’ gesture in front of him.

“No, Kurt. I _can’t_ go back.” Blaine tried to make Kurt understand, but when he saw the confusion on his finace’s face, he knew he had to explain. “I got called into Madame Tibideaux’s office in the middle of the semester, right after midterms. She told me my grades had to improve greatly and I was being placed on academic probation, and if my grades didn’t improve by the end of the semester, I’d be dismissed from the school altogether.” Blaine said in a big breath. He felt Kurt’s hand squeeze his and he actually felt really good getting this all out to Kurt.

“I don’t understand, Blaine. Since when were your grades so bad?”

“Ever since that fight in the restaurant. I felt that night really changed something between us. Yeah, maybe I misunderstood the whole ‘exhausting’ thing, but I really just felt like I couldn’t come to you with any of my problems anymore. I can tell you just didn’t want to hear it. You say you do, but all of my petty little problems always turn into stupidly large arguments between us. I really thought you were going to call it off in the restaurant that night.” Blaine told him sadly. “I bottled everything up since that night. Every little thing that bothered me I just kept inside and it started to show through my school work”

“Blaine, I-”

“I have a serious question.” Blaine cut him off, looking into his eyes for the first time since they started talking. He needs to ask the question. He needs to know. It’s been the one thing on his mind the longest since that fight and he needs to get to the bottom of it.

“What?”

“Do you even still want to marry me?” Blaine asked. He tore his eyes from Kurt’s once again and held his breath as he awaited an answer.

“Why would you even a-”

“Because lately, it seems as if all the wedding preparations are being put on me. We’ve been pushing the date back farther and farther and I don’t understand why I’m the only one putting effort into this. You say you’ve had your dream wedding planned since you were a child, but now you just don’t seem to care at all. Unless, you picture yourself standing across from some faceless man who isn’t me in your dream wedding so you figure, what’s the point in even using my dream wedding because the most important part is wrong anyway so-”

“Blaine! Blaine! Stop, relax. Just stop for a second.” Kurt cut off Blaine’s ramblings and pulled him into a tight hug. Blaine didn’t even realize he started to sob as he rambled and once Kurt pulled him in, he fell straight into his arms. “I love you, Blaine. I love you more than anything or anyone else in this world. As soon as we met your face immediately replaced the ‘faceless’ man in my dream wedding.”

Blaine let a small smile appear at that but still couldn’t help the fear lingering in his mind about why Kurt wants nothing to do with the wedding.

“I may have had my dream wedding planned since I was around seven, but honestly Blaine, I could care less about _any_ of the unrealistic expectations my seven year old self wanted. I just want to marry you, Blaine. I don’t care if it’s in front of ten people, or ten hundred people. I don’t care if it’s in some giant fancy castle or if it’s just down at city hall. I love you, and I just want to marry you. All of those stupid little details, they stopped mattering so much once the man stopped being faceless.” Kurt told him seriously. He needed Blaine to understand, he needed him to fully grasp the concept of Kurt loving him with everything he had because it seems Blaine tends to forget that sometimes.

“You said it yourself, Blaine.” Kurt started with a smile. “The man is the most important part, and as long as it remains you, I could really care less about anything else.”

Blaine pulled Kurt into a tight hug. He didn’t know what he was expecting to hear, but it certainly wasn't that. He didn’t realize how _much_ he needed to hear those words until they were said out loud. “Why would you want to be with a failure like me, though?”

“I love you, Blaine. I love you, I love you, I love you.” Kurt told him before pulling him into a lingering kiss. “I’ll tell you every second of everyday if that’s what it takes for you to grasp the concept. I love you, and I’m not leaving you, _ever_. And you’re not a failure. Okay, so NYADA didn’t work out. You let your personal life get in the way, and that happens. But I think you should take up boxing more often, it seems to be a good stress reliever for you. You used to do it back in Ohio, and I see a difference from then and here. It really seems to help you. And we’ll get you back on track. We’ll start planning the wedding together and when you’re ready to go back to school, I’ll help you look into different ones with good programs. You may of failed out, but it still looks good on your record you got accepted to begin with. You’ll get yourself back on track soon, I promise.” Kurt told him as he pulled him down to lay along the couch with him. Blaine rested his head on Kurt’s chest as Kurt ran his fingers through the loose curls on Blaine’s head.

“I really love you.” Blaine said he placed a kiss over Kurt’s shirt, right on his heart.

“I really love you, too. And please talk to me when you’re going through something, I really do want to help you.”

“I will, thanks for listening to me.”

“Thanks for talking to me.”

Blaine knows there’s still a lot more to talk about, but he gets it now. It is exhausting. He’s tired just from this and he’s happy him and Kurt are on the same page now and not chapters apart.

He’ll mentally have two piles in his head; things to talk about with Kurt, and things to let out on the punching bag. He’ll get into another school and make some new friends. Hopefully ones who aren’t two-faced heartless bitches who would just watch you drown if it meant them getting to the shore first. Him and Kurt will get married and hopefully move into a place closer to the heart of the city; a place with walls and more than one bedroom. But for right now, he’s content to just lay wrapped up in Kurt’s arms with the reassurance that this is his life. There will always be up’s and down’s but for every time he falls down, it’s another time Kurt reaches out to him and helps him to stand right back up.


End file.
